mollie cat

Okay, I'm feeling much more chipper now:) My mom and step-dad came to visit over the past few days and just left this afternoon. It was a last-minute, quick trip, but it was much appreciated. They got in Thursday afternoon and surprised the kids. Macy's reaction was priceless; she saw them walking up from the kitchen window, ran to the door and was so surprised and happy she was laughing and crying at the same time. Nick just kinda stood there and Stephen spent the first 10 minutes hiding behind my legs. I guess it took longer for the surprise to register for the boys:)



We just hung out Thursday night. Friday while Nick was at preschool we had lunch with Macy at her school and hung out with her at recess. After picking up Nick, I showed them around town and we took a trip to the mall. That night we ate at Texas Roadhouse and went to the movie "Shorts." It was super-cute.



Which brings us to today already. Mom, Macy and I visited the AWESOME Fort Wayne Library, which includes one of the country's largest geneology collections. While Mom perused the census records of 1930, Macy and I looked up and checked out a few books on her current favorite topics - Horses, Cats and Dogs. The visual you see with this post is the cover of one of her books. It's what she calls the "Mollie Cat" - she says it looks just like me:) Strangly enough, I might have to agree. I'm pretty cute, right?

MisUnderstood DontUnderstand

Feeling out of sorts lately. Today was a rough one. I was diagnosed as bipolar last month. That was a bit of a shock... but not really. I have been reading up on depression - trying to figure out why I can't snap out of it some days. I have realized I have some days that I'm doing more and expending more energy than I realize - but the depressed days are definitely more than ever. Bipolar did come up in my reading, but I never really thought it could be that. The doctor gave me a questionnaire, asked me a lot of questions and just talked to me. His opinion was that I was "soft bipolar." That is, I have distinct mood swings but on a a scale that doesn't interfere with my ability to lead a normal life. I can do that, it just takes more effort than a normal person, my bad days are worse than most people care to understand, and my "up" days are anxiety-ridden. There are normal days inbetween and I can fake it pretty good when I want to. This has pretty much been my life as far as I can remember it so I've always thought it to be normal. It's hard for me to believe that other people don't ever feel this way. So doc explains that this is a chemical thing in my brain - yes I understand - and is adding undue stress on my mind and spirit. He prescribed a drug called Lamictil. I've been on it for three weeks - my anxiety is better, I'm way more mellow but my depression is worse than ever. Today was definitely the lowest point and I switched between crying spells and a stony/numbness. It's hard to be a good mom like this. I'll call the doctor on Monday. Something needs to change.